Godzilla king of the monsters – can you make a movie with that much spectacle out of duct tape?
By Tanya Fedorenko
It’s been 5 years since the sexy tone deaf Godzilla reboot made an appearance… and maybe he should have just stayed down there, where ever he was from; I think he was from the lost city of Atlantis?
In this movie Godzilla’s big bad is a 3-headed dragon nemesis previously seen from Disney’s Hercules is from space, or is it Olympia? Kicks butt, like there’s no need for any other monsters, we have a winner, bow down to Ghidorah. There’s also a big moth that is mates with Godzilla and I think they’ve had a thing? I mean we see in the film Godzilla has no loyalty to her and clearly never called her back… I mean these “monsters” have been around for 100,000s of years, but in 2019 they awaken and our nuclear weapons aren’t very good against any of them, so we would be doomed if this were to actually happen, though it’s restoring order and good for humanity. *sigh. Go please go and see it. We get 17 monsters for the price of £8.50 a ticket, and I want my money back so I can send it directly to the director of this movie and tell him to do a better job. As for the writer of this movie, go back to Starbucks. Writing is not for you.
It wasn’t exactly visually stunning, and the scores went from Skyrim to Spyro the Dragon (I’m saying that’s bad) and the acting was utterly horrendous; Kyle Chandler – I’m looking at you, I’ve seen more emotions from a banana Vera Farmiga, oh and your character is bat sh*t crazy, like pick a side, what are you doing?! On a stranger things note – Do not take that tone of voice with me Millie Bobby Brown – go to your room. and I guess you’ve just given up on your acting career now, Charles Dance? The movie was a hot mess and seemingly the studio just duct taped the movie together with a pile of million dollar cheques.
Wow. Just what a piece of… I’m genuinely lost for words with this film. It was so bad it was actually brilliant; I laughed my head off and my brain hurts thinking about this bizarre film with no real consensus, no one really dies even though there are monsters everywhere! No one even gets a little bit hurt, and I can assure you that no one was wearing any seatbelts at any point, the ongoing absurdity made it a master piece. There were so many moments I had to utter the words ‘oh my god…’ at the screen, and Bradley Whitfield would always be there, jazz hands abound, to whisper ‘…zilla’
