Avengers: Endgame

By Tanya Fedorenko

Sadly, I had no idea what was going on in this movie, having only seen Civil War, infinity War, and the Guardians of the Galaxy films, I did get a little lost. Oh, and of course I did see Captain Marvel. Yeah…

This movie has been a huge blockbuster and is from the ever-growing popular Marvel franchise, so I don’t really need to describe the plot – as the majority of you will know what it’s about and will have already been to see it. I’d suggest writing a review yourselves, though you’ll all be bias I’m assuming.

So, let me just review it the only way I really know how, by sharing my poignant opinions.

3 hours went by faster than I thought, but my butt did fall asleep and I didn’t bring a drink with me which was clearly a terrible mistake, especially when it came to eating half a bag of minstrels, drying my mouth out with sugar. But it was longer than it needed to be, a couple of the scenes dragged on a little more than they needed to. And time travel should really not be that fast to figure out! Iron man or not! – Plus, iron man, I know you’ll all know, if you’ve seen it, but just in case, all I’m going to say is that was super predictable.

Though, Captain America, I’m happy for you, I’m unhappy that you shaved your beard off, as for Thor, yeah, I still would. We could go KFC together and I could help braid that glorious beard. He is still worthy of me.

Rocket is literally my favourite Marvel character, him and I have so much in common, just being horrible and hilarious really! But I felt like there wasn’t enough humour in this film, I did laugh a few times, yet it was more of an idle chuckle, as if someone was holding up a ‘this is the part where you laugh’ sign. A possible sign of the Marvel universe getting tired of its audience?

It was constructed well and looked pretty, but it was the exact same film that I’ve seen with the other Marvel films, but everyone got a haircut. Although I suspect this is on purpose, as A successful formula formulates success

I still have many questions, like where is Paul Bettney? Why did it all have to end on such a high of everyone being worthy and happy? Besides starlord, but he will rise again in guardians 3, which is where I’m guessing his lady shows up again, though I wonder where she’s gone at the moment? Also why do I kind of find doctor strange hot? The characters we lost, well, personally I don’t think could have progressed much further anyway, so to the people that told me to bring tissues, I definitely didn’t need any.

This movie was a bittersweet spectacle of a love letter to the audience that it has grown over the past 14 years, and possibly the next 14 years will be spent trying to raise the bar this movie created. Regardless of the money made, these films hold value with every comic book geek, everyone who loves hot white men, and everybody who has exclaimed to their bathroom mirror –

‘I am Iron Man.’