How do you even begin to talk about losing someone?
It’s a ridiculously hard subject and I’m sure it’s different for everyone. The truth is hardly anyone expects it to happen to them, you look around at the people you know and think they’ll be here forever, until one day they’re not.
I lost my nan a year ago and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. It was unexpected and happened on the day of an AS exam so I was unprepared for all of the emotions coming my way. I’m not going to lie here, a year on and I still miss her like crazy, but I’m so much stronger now than I was.
Loss is weird. It breaks you for a bit but then you become an even better version of yourself. You learn to appreciate every little thing. You learn to take everything as it comes and not to let anything stand in your way. Sure it’s hard as hell to get over, as I said a year down the line, I’m still struggling, but if you have the strength inside and the outside support you’ll get there.
My advice to anyone going through losing someone is this: do not ever bottle it up. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to write about it, write about it. If you need someone to talk to, then talk to someone. Just don’t bottle it up, it only makes things worse for you and you need to let out the grief however you can. It will help in the long run, I promise.
Rather than being sad, try to remember all of the good times you had with this person. They may be gone in person but they will forever live on in the hearts of the lives they’ve touched. It’s your memory of them that will keep them alive so that they are never truly gone, and that’s worth more than anything. The phrase ‘don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it’s happened’ comes to mind and it’s true. Just because they’re physically gone it doesn’t mean you should be sad forever, they’ll be looking down on you as proud as ever and seeing the wonderful person you are. Smile because of all the wonderful memories you have and above all, live.
Please don’t stop your life because of loss, the feeling of grief is not forever although it might feel like it sometimes. Yes grief may creep up on you every now and again but things will get easier. Soon you’ll begin to focus on the good things in life and the bad things will just float away. Your friends and family are the support you need in times like this and they’re there to help you.
No matter what loss you go through in life, please remember the hurt won’t last forever. Don’t live your life with regrets and always make sure you love the ones who love you, make beautiful memories and overall be happy. It may hurt now but the pain will ease, the sadness will subside and you will be okay. They’re always in our hearts and are never truly gone.